Life was difficult when I was young, and as a result, all of our family have been affected in some way.

When I was younger, and at school, my Mother’s schizophrenia caused me problems – I was bullied and young children do have a habit of loudly exclaiming their thoughts. Their mothers knew, and my Mum was ignored by many of them when she picked me up, and I could not have many friends round my house, for fear of my mother doing or saying something ridiculous or nasty. My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia and that is now nearly 52 years ago. She is now on medication, and is much better, but the past caused her many problems and I do not agree with many things that went on, including her many doses of electric shock treatment. She had a lot of that during her many years in hospital and I would like to find out if they were doing it to shut her and the others up, so they were more manageable or whether it really was necessary? The thing is, she was not violent, and catatonia causes one to withdraw, not lash out.

After many years of taking sides with both of them, I realise today, that my father has been committed in his marriage to my Mother, which is worth a medal. Unfortunately, most of his ‘protection’ and ‘support’ has been with his wife and his children have suffered as a result. Although in many ways I find it difficult to understand why four children were born into this family, but I realise that my Father didn’t know better – he was told by certain doctors that having children would benefit my Mother and her disease, without a thought for the children that would be born and would discover the down sides of that decision and advice.

My Mother has suffered many years in psychiatric hospitals, due to bouts of catatonia and attempted suicide. She has not been supported enough by the NHS and we, as family members have not been supported either – I have never been approached for counselling or help as a child born to my Mother and this disease, yet I spent the first 6 years of my life visiting her in hospital at various times.

My siblings and I did not receive the attention and care that we needed, and we all went down our own paths as children, without much interaction from our parents. Our lack of knowledge of her symptoms and how to help meant that we were all living our own lives in denial. I have suffered guilt, pain, hate, love and many more emotions due to my Mother’s problems.

My siblings would have seen a very different mum to me – someone who was always trying to commit suicide, wading into the sea, rocking in the chair at home, depressed and in her own world, up and down like a yo yo. I did not get those symptoms to the same degree, but instead saw lots of anger.

When I was eight years old and sick of hearing the shouting and arguments and my Dad being upset, I wanted my Dad to divorce my Mother and I didn’t want to see her again. I didn’t see her as my Mother and I hated her. I remember when she was in a foul angry mood one day when I was eleven, and she was being so nasty to me, I Lashed out at her and broke her finger. I felt immediately bad.

Over time, I have bonded much better, and took the time out to find out about her condition and to forgive her past actions, and I now have as best a relationship as I can and go out for lunch with her and stuff. It is not her fault that she was ill, and I feel sorry that it happened to her – and all of us!

Scizophrenia – my experience of how she was treated

• Ignored by those outside of the family who knew
• I am investigating her treatment in hospital (multiple shock treatments when she was not out of control)
• Not supported by the health system
• Family not supported by the health system or taught in any way of how to deal with the issues and symptoms, leading to further problems within the family unit
• Family member embarrassment and neglect

A new government run scheme that has been long awaited by people like me is called ‘Time to change’ – www.time-to-change.org.uk It is there to try to educate people not to be biased about a mental health problem – to treat people that have one as an individual and with respect , the same as everyone else.

Mind info on Schizophrenia: http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+schizophrenia.htm  

Rethink info: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/schizophrenia/index.html  
Symptoms: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/schizophrenia/symptoms_of_schizoph.html  
Causes: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/schizophrenia/causes_of_schizophre.html  
Treatment: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/schizophrenia/treatment_for.html  

Information on the use of ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) and Catatonic Schizophrenia: http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~content=a908763815~db=all~jumptype=rss  

Some more information: http://priory.com/psych/cataton.htm  
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So go on, learn something today and help those that you might be in touch with that have mental health problems!

Do you have a story to tell? You will be helping people to understand so please tell us by emailing info@notjustanessexgirl.com  Your details and any personal references will not be published on the site, so you do not have to worry!

‘A’ has had various symptoms for years, like feelings of claustrophobia, waking up happy one morning and depressed the next, together with panic attacks and they have had very little control over those emotions and feelings. It is debilitating, and sometimes difficult for others to deal with.

This is their story as told by them:

I have had therapy for many years – Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, one to one counselling, Adlerian psychology, and, although they have helped in the short term as someone there to talk to, they have not cured me and my symptoms have continued to get worse and my life stuck on hold by them.

Recently, I went to a Psychiatrist, as I was desperate to find out for sure that there was nothing seriously wrong. I had been told and had convinced myself that I had depression, but my symptoms did not last long enough for me to be depressed, as I could flit from being extremely down, extremely angry or fairly happy.

After two one hour sessions, the Psychiatrist came to his conclusion with a diagnosis of ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ based on my current and past history of actions, feelings and behaviour traits.

I was relieved at first, as I had a name for it at last, and when I looked it up on various websites, I had all the symptoms just as they were described on the sites. Then I felt sad, as I didn’t really want to have a mental disorder, and although I wanted to tell everyone my news, so that they would then understand why I am like I am, I knew that they might see me in a different light, and reject me. As my fear of rejection is so strong anyway, I decided to keep it to myself, telling only my boyfriend and one of my siblings.

How I feel

I never really feel ‘happy and content’ inside. I can feel excited, temporarily happy, angry, aggressive, loving, depressed and empty, extremely sad, charitable, obsessive, jealous, hopeless, worthless and confused. I can feel any of these emotions at any time, and often they are temporary (a few hours up to a day or so). The main emotion that stays with me most of the time is anxiety and I have trouble relaxing and dealing with the smallest of things sometimes.

I can switch from one good emotion to another in a flash, and no-one can understand why – even though I have reasons of my own at the time.

Everything is either black or white – I can switch from liking someone a lot, to disliking them completely, just through one individual incident. This hurts those people if I confront them with it, but most of all, it hurts me and my relationship.

Because I moan about so many things, when I have something that really means something to me, it is not taken notice of.

I feel ‘needy’ in relationships and I crave lots of attention.

I don’t really trust anyone.

I can be, as I would call it ‘a performing monkey’ when around others. Apart from my close family, who get to see some of the ‘real me’, I will put on a happy face and pretend everything is rosy most of the time. Most people, outside of my family, would probably say that I am happy go lucky and nice to be around. Whether it be through worry over what others would think, or just to make myself feel a little better, I have covered a lot up, and whilst on the outside, I have been a bubbly, happy go lucky person who seems to be doing ok, inside I have been often darkly miserable and wanted to cry, shout and sometimes just end it all. I have had hardly anyone they could talk to (apart from counsellors, doctors and therapists) as I feel people would not understand and it would possibly have meant that I would lose friends or mar relationships giving them that knowledge. This may not be the case, but I have preferred not to test them. I now have a very understanding boyfriend who, at first, could not understand, but now we are supporting each other and are much happier.

I felt that my past life and experiences were all good and I was a happy person, but when interviewed by the Psychiatrist, I realised that this was not correct. Once we uncovered the fact that I have suffered with self harming, eating disorders, obsessive behaviours, no ability to stick with responsibility and jobs for long, have been in unstable and sometimes abusive relationships, drink and drug abuse, slept around when I was young and have spent a lot of time running away from people or events, I realised that perhaps I had not had the idealic life that I thought I had. I have, in fact, made lots of mistakes that have cost me dearly, due to my anxiety and impulsive decisions.

I am not a bad person – I just have a few issues. I behave within the social system, care for my family and friends, am polite in public and try to be as charitable as I can.

How could I be helped?

What I need is ‘understanding’ from others, so that they can provide help. Some of my friends abandoned me when I was younger, as they could not understand my moods, and it was very upsetting at the time, but I found out who my friends are!

Therefore, I agree very much that the stigma around mental health problems needs to be lifted and I am very grateful to the ‘Time to change’ campaigns and other help.

I had a very bad experience a few years ago, when at my lowest level, I moved back home to my parents, and tried to get a doctor quickly to help, as I felt so awful. I trudged the doctor’s surgeries in my area, desperately asking them for help – some said they were full, and others saw me first, and once I told them my problems tearfully and that I felt suicidal, I was told they could not take me on. Luckily, my old family doctor took me back on, and my symptoms subsided once I felt the comfort of someone caring, but the fact that I was dismissed by doctors in the national health system when telling them of my suicidal thoughts, is disgraceful and not acceptable.

The future

I decided not to take antidepressants as I do not like using drugs, but this could be seen by others that I do not need them. It is not the case. I have decided that rather than covering it up with drugs, so that I forget I have a problem, I would face it full on and not forget, so that I can help myself to understand my problem fully and recover. It has proven to be a long journey, but I am getting there, and life looks brighter right now and I have a wonderful boyfriend who is very understanding and has stuck by me.

I am going to get a second opinion with the National Health, as I cannot afford to have the suggested therapy and consultations with the private Psychiatrist and specialist that was recommended, and then move forward from there with the correct therapy for me. I am also writing as a self therapy process. My main objective is to settle down and be more ‘normal’ whatever that is

Some site about this disorder:

The personality disorder website: http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk  

Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+borderline+personality+disorder.htm   

Other http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml  

Rehink’s information:

Types of personality disorder: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/personality_disorders/types_of.html  
Symptoms of personality disorder: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/personality_disorders/symptoms_of.html  
Causes of personality disorders: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/personality_disorders/causes_of.html  
Treatments for personality disorder: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/personality_disorders/treatments_for.html

Do you have a story to tell? You will be helping people to understand so please tell us by emailing info@notjustanessexgirl.com  Your details and any personal references will not be published on the site, so you do not have to worry!

Everyone says that I am difficult

Life is hopeless at the moment

I like control over others and I like to be right all of the time.

I have to check the door three times to ensure that I have locked it.

I eat the same foods on the same day each week.

I used to take steroids, and was a bit abusive to my partner.

I sleep with lots of men

I need to be the centre of attention

I feel trapped and I want to run away sometimes.

So, do all the people above have a mental health problem?

If you looked at these behaviours, you could possibly say ‘yes’, but it is not the case, and looking at these statements in isolation, they could be deemed to be a symptom of a mental health problem, but it would depend on other symptoms and what those symptoms are, if in fact there are any others.

For exampe, the person who feels their life is hopeless at the moment may have just lost their job, and are feeling down.  If they have no other symptoms, they might be just having a temporary rough time, and will be fine once they get another job.  However, it may be just one symptom of something more major, like bipolar disorder, depression or borderline personality as possible examples.

Or, it could be that the person who likes to eat the same foods on the same day each week is a man who likes fish and chips on a Friday, yet it could also be someone suffering with an eating disorder, who likes to eat only an apple on a Monday. 

The above are only examples, and I am not a doctor, so this is not professional advice, but they are quite straight forward symptoms.

A qualified doctor or therapist are the people that can look at the past and present behaviours and thoughts of a person, and work out if there is a pattern or a problem there.

A test for diagnosis

I watched a programme on BBC2 last year, where psychiatrists had to test a group of people. Some of the participants have a mental disorder (schizophrenia, bi-polar, depression, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and social anxiety disorder) and some are free of mental health problems.

A series of tests were carried out by the participants; both physical and mental, whilst being filmed. A group of psychiatrists watched the films and interviewed the participants, in order to ascertain who was without a mental health issue and which of them had certain illnesses.

The psychiatrists got most of the diagnosis wrong, painting individuals with the wrong mental health labels. This was quite upsetting for some of the participants, as they confirmed that someone with no mental health issues had a serious mental health issue and there were people there with serious mental illnesses that were perceived as not having any mental health issue at all.

How did they get it so wrong?

On one hand this does make me feel a little sceptical towards ‘diagnosis’ of mental health problems by doctors and therapists, as it is not the first misdiagnosis I have heard of. Ok, this was a TV programme, but they do happen in real life. However, there are flaws in the advice of professionals in many subjects and they are more rare than common, so it is always best to seek professional advice to get the help you need.

Getting help is best!

On the other hand, in many cases, people are not getting or seeking help when they need it, as they do not recognise the issues that are present within them. It can be easy to think ‘I’m alright, everything’s normal’ when in fact there are mental health issues that are hurting ourselves and sometimes others or stopping us from moving on in life – getting that job, having a personal relationship, or even getting out of the house in the morning.

I think it is best to get advice regarding getting the best diagnosis and help for your problems – the mental health charities can advise you or seek advice from your doctor.

Your doctor can tell you about the process of getting a second opinion, or contact one of the charities, if you feel you have been misdiagnosed.

Therefore, my message is “Get help today. Whether you need help for yourself or someone you know, then don’t hold back – find the help you need to make yours or their life better”

Tell me what you think using the comments box below, and share your opinions with the World.

Read more about my campaign against the stigma of mental health conditions HERE

To see who the charties are and to get more information on what is being done, please see below:

• Time to change 

A new government run scheme that has been long awaited by people like me is called ‘Time to change’ – www.time-to-change.org.uk

It highlights the need for people to understand mental health better and it aims to take the stigma away from mental health issues.  Their latest campaign in January was a series of TV advertisements showing a whole mixture of people with mental health problems, including celebrities such as Ruby Wax, Alastair Campbell and Stephen Fry, saying a few words.  (This campaign is led by ‘Rethink’, ‘Mental Health Media’ and ‘Mind’)

They have lots of information including where to get help (help lines via telephone, email or face to face) and information on how to find out about the various mental health problems.

From their website they say:

Time to Change is England’s most ambitious programme to end discrimination faced by people who experience mental health problems.

Our vision:
To makes lives better for everyone by ending mental health discrimination

Our mission:
To inspire people to work together to end the discrimination surrounding mental health

Who are we?

The programme of 35 projects is led by Mental Health Media, Mind and Rethink. It is funded with £16m from the Big Lottery Fund and £2m from Comic Relief, and evaluated by the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College, London. 

The programme is backed by international evidence on what works, and has at its heart people with direct experience of mental health problems.

Mental Health Charities

• MIND – www.mind.org.uk

On their website, they have lots of information including details of their infoline and information about the various mental health problems, including factsheets.

From their website they say:

Mind is the leading mental health charity in England and Wales. We work to create a better life for everyone with experience of mental distress by:

• campaigning for people’s rights
• challenging poor practice in mental health
• informing and supporting thousands of people on a daily basis
• providing over a thousand services across England and Wales through our network of local Mind associations.

Mental health problems can affect anyone, rich or poor, young or old, shattering the lives of those affected and the lives of the people close to them. One in four of us will experience a mental health problem at some point in our lives. Each year more than 250,000 people are admitted to psychiatric hospitals and over 4,000 people take their own lives.

Mind is the best known charity for mental health, and we have a rich tradition of working to improve lives. We now have a chance to build on that reputation, to seize the moment and to change the faces of mental health. Our broad use of funding from the public, trusts and companies (but not pharmaceutical companies) allows us to take an independent stance.

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Mental Health Media – www.mhmedia.com 

On their website, they have information on support for journalists and media when informing about mental illness, and a shop (together with Rethink) which provides resources and information on Mental Health.

From their website they say:

All too often people with experience of mental distress are misunderstood, labelled and denied the opportunities that others take for granted. At Mental Health Media we know that the most powerful way to challenge this prejudice is to help them get across the real story about mental health, change media representations, and lead the fight against discrimination.

We’re developing and delivering a range of projects which aim to educate and give people the tools and skills to take action. And we work with journalists and broadcasters to inform their coverage of mental health issues. We also run the annual Mental Health Media Awards which recognise and celebrate television and radio programmes about mental health which have the power to change minds and lives.

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Rethink – www.rethink.org

On their website, they have lots of information including details of their National Helpline and information about the various mental illnesses, including symptoms, recovery and getting help.

From their website they say:

Rethink, the leading national mental health membership charity, works to help everyone affected by severe mental illness recover a better quality of life.

We were founded over 30 years ago to give a voice to people affected by severe mental illness and today, with over 8,300 members, we remain determined that this voice will continue to be heard.   We help over 48,000 people every year through our services, support groups and by providing information on mental health problems.  Our website receives almost 300,000 visitors every year.

Our aim is to make a practical and positive difference by providing hope and empowerment through effective services, information and support to all those who need us. People who use our services and their carers are at the heart of our vision and we believe that all those who experience severe mental illness are entitled to be treated with respect and as equal citizens. We carry out research which informs both our own and national mental health policy and actively campaign for change through greater awareness and understanding. And we are dedicated to creating a world where prejudice and discrimination are eliminated.  

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Why don’t you take a look on these sites today and learn something – you may be able to understand or help one of your friends, colleagues or family today!  Knowledge gives you the power to help!

I have learnt a lot about mental health issues from research and others.  Sadness, guilt, happiness and a whole range of emotions are involved for those concerned. 

One thing is very apparent; mental disorders are often not dealt with well by those who have not experienced them or know very little about them.  It is like many things really – if we do not know about something, we either find out more about it or just ignore it, or even worse, we are scared of it and therefore go against it. 

A ‘Stigma’ is what surrounds mental health problems right now – those who suffer from one of them are seen to be ‘mental’, ‘crazy’, ‘loony’ and many other ‘terms’ and this is just not true.  There are many other serious health problems, such as cancer, leukaemia or diabetes which, instead of scorn, lead to reactions from others such as care and charity, but these issues are no different – they are a problem for the person who has them and they should be treated fairly by others.

People ‘discriminate’ against others with mental health problems and therefore are in effect confirming that the ‘stigma’ is true and correct, yet it clearly is not. 

Something really needs to be done to ensure that this attitude changes for the benefit of all. 

I would like to suggest that we take another stance on our thoughts on mental health, and realise that those who suffer from one also need care and charity from others, and some understanding for who they are.  They are just like you, apart from some of the things they think or feel, but they are not bad people or mad people.

Also, those with a problem, need to speak out and tell others, so that they can be supported, and not hide away and worry about what others will think or how they will react – there is a lot of support out there too! 

Some mental health problems are:

• Depression
• Bipolar disorder
• Scizophrenia
• Personality disorders
• Anxiety disorders
• Eating disorders

Do you know someone with one of these problems? 

Can you help? 

The answer is yes! 

These problems are widespread now (one in four people will experience mental health problems at some point in their lives), and many celebrities are now coming out as having things like depression, such as Ruby Wax, Alastair Campbell and Stephen Fry, so that it can be seen more clearly the amount of people who suffer and how to help them to get on.

Did you know that Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Florence Nightingale, Charles Darwin, and Marie Curie all had mental health problems?   They did, yet they are well respected for their fantastic efforts in history for the good of men and women.  Would this have changed if their problems were common knowledge?  These days the answer is probably yes!  But in a recent survey, only four out of ten employers said they would employ someone with a history of mental illness.

The problem with depression

People with depression are often seen to some as ‘being weak willed’ or ‘lazy and wanting time off work’ or that they should be happy.  Depression is not something that can be turned on or off, and those that really do suffer with it will tell you that they feel trapped inside themselves and wish they could turn it off.

• Learn about the issues/symptoms of some illnesses – watch a film, read a book, look on websites or in libraries
• You could watch films which are based on mental health issues, such as ‘A Beautiful Mind’ or ‘Bennie and Joon’.  They can be very therapeutic and educational, although please note that some are not totally correct in their portrayal of all symptoms.   A very useful website I have found is http://cinematherapy.com/filmindex/mentalillness On this website you can click on the mental illness you wish to see a film based upon, and they come up with a list where you can find out more about the movie descriptions.
• Help others you know with a mental health problem – friends or family – be more understanding and supportive.  This can be difficult at times, as the symptoms of some illnesses can affect you directly too, or can be difficult to understand, but be patient – it will be worth it in the end!
• Visit one of the charities and find out other ways you can help (you can see them here)
• If you have a mental health issue, talk to others – your doctor, a therapist, a friend, your family or one of the charities here – don’t stay silent – get help! 

Why don’t you take a look on these sites today and learn something – you may be able to understand or help one of your friends, colleagues or family or even yourself today!